This is basically how I spent my 4th of July. (Though this is not "ME" in this picture.) This is how I felt all day long. Natalie was at her dad's house like she always is during the summer and I just felt alone and depressed so I chose to stay in bed all day long and eat cake. I have been feeling very alone and depressed lately and I don't like it. Lately I have not been wanting to go anywhere, so I stay home. I don't feel safe or comfortable when I leave my house. I can pretty much go to the store or go through a drive through to get food but then I must hurry home and go straight to my bedroom. I feel safe in my room and comfortable but empty and alone inside. I don't even want to take a shower and change clothes. I feel awful. I thought that I was making progress with my depression but I guess not. Heartbreaking things have been going on with my close relationship with my brother. His wife wont allow me to have a relationship with him anymore, I can't talk to him, or go over to their new house. I haven't spoken to my brother in almost a month now. That has killed my heart. He is still to this day, one year later, going in and out of the hospital for his depression that I know for a fact is all being caused by his terrible devil of a wife. I dislike her so much right now. She is so immature for being 25. She is SATAN in disguise.
So anyways, this is how I spent my 4th of July, all curled up in bed with my cats =), the only things beside my daughter that keep me sane. I watched TV from dawn to dawn and never saw not one firework, not even a sparkler. How sad is my life right now =(
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