I miss these guys like CRAZY..........

Hurry up with the EP and new ALBUM guys, I am so ready to see you all live again. I miss your music sooooooooo much!!! Besides The Dear and Departed, when David, Joel and Simon where in the band, you are THE only other band that impassions my soul and brings me to that happy place in my life, where I love to BE!!! I love AFI for LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Turning 35......=(

So on October 1, 2008 I turned the dreaded 3-5. That's Thirty-Five, yikes! I couldn't be more depressed. I had a nice birthday though. My mom and daughter took me out to P.F Changs at The Pike in Long Beach, one of my favorite restaurants. I had the spring rolls appetizer and Changs spicy chicken as my entree with white rice. My daughter got me the most beautiful card and a cute birthday bear and some Godiva chocolates, yeah she knows her mom really well, lol. She picked out and paid for these items all by herself at the Hallmark store inside the Lakewood Mall. I went across the way to Victoria Secrets while she went into Hallmark. I went to buy me my birthday present that my husband James would always get me every birthday. My favorite Victoria Secret Garden lotions. I love Pear Glace` and Love Spell. I got 3 of each scent. The lotion, spray, and shower gel. I have been using Pear Glace` since 1995. So all in all it was a good day. I missed my husband but what else is knew. This is my second birthday without him.

But this past weekend as I was in bed with yet another Fibromyalgia attack, I took stock of my life and came up with this: I have not accomplished a damn thing in 35 years!!! Except giving birth to my daughter in 1998 and raising her. That is a big accomplishment but in the past 17 years since I graduated from high school this is all that I have done:

1991-Age 17 Graduated from Banning High School

1992-Age 18 Met David Donini, who would eventually become my husband and the father of my daughter.

1993-Age 19 Got my first kitty cat ever. Named her KIKI. Worked on and off at odd jobs, never stayed at any one job for more than a couple of months, this would soon become a pattern of my job history.

1994-Age 20 Decided to go into the Medical Field and went to Medical Assisting school through the city of Long Beach Regional Occupational Program.

1995-Age 21 Graduated from Medical Assisting school and was hired right out of school by the first resume I faxed over to an OB/Gyn office the "Women's Health and Reproduction Center" in Long Beach, Ca. I quit after only 2 months. Worked 2 more Medical Assisting jobs this year and quit them as well.

1996- Age 22 Got Married to David on July 6, 1996, wasn't working when we got married so we lived with my mom and dad cause we only had one income, his, and it wasn't that much, which was fine by me cause I love living with my mom.

1997- Age 23 4 months after David and I got married I landed a really good job at a Pediatricians office and loved it soooo much. This year 1997 David and I moved out of my parents house and into our very first apartment in Lakewood, Ca. Our rent for our nice 1 bedroom 1 bath was $550 and we even bought a new car together. Life was good back them, so I thought????? I don't think I was ever in love with David. I can honestly say this now.

1998- Age 24 I'm Pregnant!!!!! David was less than thrilled. I was thrilled beyond belief. He was afraid, I wasn't. I always go by what my mom always has taught me "DON'T WORRY, THE LORD SHALL PROVIDE". Financially we weren't doing so bad until I quit my job at the Peds. Office. I was the bread winner. I made more money than my husband and he was livid with me that I quit. I mean what man wouldn't be, here we are pregnant about to be parents for the first time and I up and quit. I always do that for some reason. My excuse this time was because I was too sick and so tired to work from the pregnancy. To make a long story short we couldn't afford our apartment anymore so we were forced to move out and live with HIS father. Natalie was born on December 3, 1998 she was 7lbs 11oz and 20in long. She was perfect, mommy wasn't!

1999-Age 25 David and I separated on September 9, 1999. 9-9-99 and Natalie was 9 months old. I moved back in with my mom and David stayed with his Dad. I cared about David but I didn't love him. Plus he cheated on me with his co-worker/worker's. I still care very deeply for David, afterall he did give me a beautiful daughter =)

2000-Age 26 Our divorce became final on May 30, 2000. I worked in 2000 and was able to get my own apartment in Lakewood, Ca my first apartment as a single mom was a studio with no kitchen for $400 a month and I also was able to lease a new car. So I wasn't doing all that bad for a 26 year old single mom of a 1 year old.

2001- Age 27 I met the man of my dreams working at a doctors office in Long Beach, Ca his name was James Edward Ludwig, he was my patient. We met officially on November 13, 2000 but didn't go out and become a couple until February 22, 2001. I fell in love, hard. He was everything I always wanted in a man. Needless to say I quit my job at the doctors office to be with him. See the pattern here.

2002- Age 28 James my soon to be husband got a really good job working as Dr. Dre, the rap star's, bodyguard. This job paid very well so I moved out of my studio apartment into James and my's first home together in Rancho Palos Verdes, Ca, this is the city where my husband grew up. We rented a 3 bedroom 2 bath condo for $1900 a month. It was nice. I was really happy in those days, I was in love, my hubby was healthy, Natalie loved her Jimmy, that's what she called him, we had a nice place to live. I didn't have to work. He didn't want me to. I was a house wife. On October 12, 2002 James and I got married in Las Vegas. Life was great.

2003- Age 29 during the months of Jan-September I was 29 and in October I turned 30. My husband became very ill On November 5, 2003 he was hospitalized for 10 days. He had to quit his job with Dr. Dre and I couldn't work because I wanted to be with my husband and take care of him. So we moved out of the condo and in with my mom and dad.

2004-Age 31 Nothing significant happened in 2004. My husband was sick on and off throughout the year and I stood by his side and took care of him because that's how much I loved this man. I loved him sooooooooo much that I honored my marriage vows to love him in sickness and in health. Nobody should take that vow lightly, nobody, cause you just never know what is going to happen.

2005-Age 32 My husband was sick an awful lot of 2005 and once again I stood by his side and took care of him.

2006-Age 33 This year was a blur because my hubby was sick so often.

2007-Age34 My husband passed away on January 1, 2007 he succumbed to his illness. I am a widow at the age of 34. I got back into music and started to heal through music, going to shows, meeting new friends on myspace and meeting band members. It helped but it can never take away the pain I feel in my heart.

2008-Age 35 Depressed, now I am sick but with a condition called Fibromyalgia. I also have Neuropathy in my legs and Arthritis in my knee. I also have two herniated disc's in my back. I live with chronic pain and I am over weight (YUCK)!!!. I have one thing to live for and that is my daughter Natalie.

So I guess I have accomplished a few things in my life so far. 2 Marriages, 1 Divorce, the birth of my daughter and taking care of my husband through sickness and in health. That will always be my biggest accomplishment to date, taking care of my husband and raising my daughter. I have left alot of stuff out because it would of taken up about 50 pages. But one thing I didn't leave out is turning 35 is still depressing. I don't recommend it at all, hahahahahahahaha, lol.

WOW....

I haven't blogged in awhile. I've been sick with Fibromyalgia related symptoms. They have come on very suddenly and strong. Affecting me to the point where I can't even get out of bed. I spent this past weekend in bed, literally on my death bed. But I did see the Starz premiere of "No Country For Old Men, and it was freaking awesome friendo. I loved it. I don't know what the point is to this blog but I am feeling a little bit better. Not 100% but almost there. Goodnight reader. Asta Manyana, don't know how to spell that Spanish phrase, lol =)

The Holiday......

Oh Jude Law why is that every time I watch you in my favorite movie 'The Holiday" you have this tantalizing and bewitching effect on me. You have got to be the most beautiful British man alive, David Williams you are tied with him, Lauren I think you would agree =) , lol . What is it about British men that I find so gosh darn appealing and attractive? Is it the accent, is it the way that British men have this way of being so polite and good mannered. Their British mums have raised them all right and proper, that's why. Listen up American men, take some points and tips from British men and maybe you will be more appealing. I know there is a British man out there that I am destined to meet. We will move to London to a posh flat or the beautiful countryside of England to a small cottage just like the one that Jude Law's sister in the movie Kate Winslet lived in and his name will be Ian, Julian or maybe even Rowan and we will live happily ever after. Wake up Melissa, it is never going to happen. A girl can dream can't she......*SIGH*. If only life were perfect, lol.....=) OH BOLLOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nostalgic for AFI......

This is the Video that started it all for me. I remember like it was yesterday, it was June of 2006, the time was 4:00pm and I was flipping through channels trying to find something to watch and as I flipped the channel I landed on the Fuse network and this video was playing at the time. I stopped dead in my tracks and was enthralled with the vision of the lead singer of this band I knew nothing about. The music coming from my television set impassioned my soul. I had to find out just who this stellar band was. As I sat there bewitched by the lead singer, I thought to myself finally a band in 2006 that has that 80's new wave sound and look. When the video was almost finished in walks my daughter, who was 7 at the time, and says, "oh you like AFI now". I said, "What", AFI, who's that? She said, "the band on the TV mom, their name is AFI and this song is called "Miss Murder". I was flabbergasted, that my 7 year old daughter not only new the song title but the name of the band. Sure enough the video ended and there it was in black and white, AFI, Miss Murder, Decemberunderground, Interscope Records. I immediately went to my computer and googled them, found their myspace page and the rest is history. I have been a HUGE fan ever since. I have grown to love their old music and absolutely love the new stuff. I can't wait for the EP and new album to come out. I am sooooo excited inside. With new albums comes new tours and I am ready to see them live again. It has been exactly 1 year, 5 months, and 15 days since the last time I saw them live in Bakersfield, Ca. I didn't get to go to the secret show back in October at the Troubadour cause I didn't have anyone to watch my daughter. I am a mother first and I don't leave my child with just anyone. If my mom is not available and I can't get a hold of my sis-in-law and brother then no show for me. Which was a real bummer but I had a friend on the inside who text messaged me every 15-20 minutes all night long with updates. So I kinda felt like I was there. Even after the show when my friend went to Swingers and saw Hunter, Jade and Marissa there. I kinda wish I had gone to Swingers that night cause #1 I love their food and #2 I love Hunter Burgan. This blog was to reminisce about my absolute favorite band in the world AFI. I love them now and I will love them forever. Davey Havok is the dreamiest man alive. I am bewitched by his beautiful soul . I love HIM =)

"THIS IS ME" by Demi Lavato

My beautiful daughter practicing her SOLO!!!


HERE'S MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER SINGING "THIS IS ME" BY DEMI LAVATO FROM DISNEY'S CAMP ROCK. THE VIDEO IS KINDA DARK AND THE SOUND IS A LITTLE GRAINY, SORRY. WE WERE USING HER KIDS VIDEO CAMERA I GOT HER FROM WALMART. MY DAUGHTER LOVES TO SING AND DANCE AND EVEN ACT. SHE IS MY LITTLE HAM!!!!

Rest In Peace "Baby Hudgins"

"Forever in Our hearts"

I am THAT lady with all the CATS =)

Aaaaahhhhhh no matter how depressed I am or how stressed out I am or how miserable I am or even how much pain I am in at any given moment, these 3 little furry girls always make it ALL go away. These are my CATS and I LOVE them with all of my heart and soul. For I am THAT lady with all the CATS.... and damn PROUD of it! This picture was taken like 20 minutes ago. They all know that I had a pretty miserable day today and are all rallying around me and KIKI (gray and white cat on the right). She is pretty sick today =(

DEXTER, Sushi, The beach AND Coldstone, Oh My! =)

So my Saturday morning began with me spotting the Dexter production sign still up and intact on the corner of Wardlow and Long Beach Blvd. The previous night as I was fulfilling a midnight craving of frosted mini wheat's cereal I passed what looked to be a production of some sort set up at the donut shop and little cafe that was transformed into what looked like a Spanish open patio cafe on Long Beach blvd on my way to the Ralphs grocery store. To my utter delight they were filming non other than my favorite show "DEXTER". I looked intensely for a glimpse of Michael C. Hall to no avail. There was just way to much going on. Lights, people all around and equipment. I was so tempted to stop and have a look around but I chickened out. So off to Raphs I went to get my cereal and some milk. The next day I saw that the sign was still up on the corner and noticed that they were no longer there filming so I got a brilliant idea to take the sign from the corner. This was way out of character for me to steal a sign but I just had to have it, so I DID IT! Well I asked Naty my lil girl to go get it at first but she couldn't reach it so I got out and got it. Isn't it a beautiful sign =) I love it!!!!

So after we got the sign I had a doctors appointment for social security I had to go to at 12:00pm and it being only 11:30 am I decided to go get Jamba Juice for me and my monkey butt, lol. She loves Jamba Juice. We both got the Banna Berry smoothie, hers with a vitamin boost and mine with a green tea caffeine boost. I do not recommend this boost because it makes your smoothie bitter, yuck. After my doctors appointment Naty and I were hungry and I was craving sushi so we both decided on going to our favorite sushi restaurant in Downey called Midori's. So off to Downey we went. We both ordered the Bento Box, which comes with chicken terriyaki, rice, salad, assorted tempura and 6 California rolls. I know what you are thinking that's alot of food, but no it is in very small portions of each item. Lunch was fabulous, Yum. It definitely satisfied my craving.

By this time it was 3:00 in the afternoon and boy was it HOT! Natalie suggested we go to the beach so we packed up the truck and went to Huntington State Beach at PCH and Beach blvd. It was still pretty packed for it now being 4:00 in the afternoon. After like 15 minutes we finally found a parking spot and off to the beach we went. WOW, what a difference the weather was. It was so cool and had that beachy breeze it was awesome. The waves were pretty out of control. I was in full panic mommy mode and kept telling Naty to come closer to the shore. Call me paranoid but I kept getting really scared that a wave was going to crash on Naty and pull her so far out that she was going to drown. So I kept a watchful eye on her at all times even when this fat, ugly middle aged, disgusting, balding guy started fiddling with his cell phone trying to disguise the real fact that he had it on camera mode and was taking pictures of all the little kids playing in the water, one of which was my daughter. So I ran right in front of him with my towel and fanned it out blocking his view from my child . Even if he was just looking at other things on his phone, which I know he wasn't, I was not going to take any chances. I am anal, I am paranoid and I am a very cautious parent when it comes to my little girl. It seemed to work because he left after that =) So after Naty played in the water a little bit longer she got out and we built sand castles and collected tiny sea shells. She made a sand castle dome with a mode around it. It was really cute. It was nearing 7:00 pm by this time and I had yet another craving and that was Sprinkles cupcakes. Knowing that we were not that far from their Newport Beach location I told Naty that it was time to go and by the time we got cleaned off and into the truck it was 6:45 pm. Sprinkles closes at 7pm on Saturdays and I didn't think we could make it down PCH to Avocado in 15 minutes so I nixed that idea much to my disappointment, but Naty to the rescue she suggested Cold Stone and I said "Yes, Please, lol. So we went to the Cold Stone in Long beach cause I couldn't find the Huntington Beach location on Warner and Golden West. I am not that familiar with HB.

We got to Cold Stone and Naty got her favorite Love it size Mint Ice Cream with chocolate chips and I got a Banana split decision Sundae with a waffle cone on the side. It was very good.

So all in all it was a very happy Saturday for me and my daughter Natalie. Not once was I miserable. I love spending time with her. She goes back to her dad's on Monday afternoon. She was suppose to go back today, Sunday, but she woke up with a cold and is running a slight low grade fever, probably from the beach, oh well we had fun and that's all that matters.

Sunset Tan...........

MAKES ME F'ING SICK. IS LIFE THAT BRONZED, BAKED AND OH SO FAKE IN WEST HOLLYWOOD!!!!! GIVE ME AN F'ING BREAK!!!!!

So Excited......

I LOVE PAMELA ANDERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Orange County Fair.....

Yesterday I went to the Orange County Fair for the first time in my life and had a great time. My favorite part of the day was visiting and petting all the barn yard animals and seeing the pigs and baby piglets was the highlight of my day. We ate Southwestern BBQ beans and Cloeslaw for lunch. I ate cotton candy and a huge white chocolate covered strawberry, my mom ate strawberry short cake and all my daughter wanted was a blue pixie stick. Then we went on some rides, those that I could tolerate, ie, the fun house and the haunted house ride, hahaha, lol. She then rocked climbed twice, went on this huge slide twice and played some games. I had a real good time. It was nice to get out and see all kinds of happy families. My Naty won some of the cutest stuffed animals. I am so thankful to my ex-husband for letting Naty go with us to the fair, as she is spending the summer with him this year and he let her go with me.Which was way cool, Thank you David!!!!! All in all it was a very lovely day, despite the drama that ensued right before we got there =(

Earthquake.....

At 11:42am we had a 5.4 earthquake here in California it was centered in Chino Hills, CA which is like 38.3 miles from where I live in Long Beach, CA. I felt it pretty strong. I was using the restroom when it happened and I jumped off the toilet in a panic. I immediately grabbed my oldest cat KIKI and my baby kitten JU-JU and went under my doorway in my room. I called and called for my middle cat ROXY but she didn't come. I think she ran under the table. So I held on tight to my two kitty cats and prayed ROXY would be okay. My baby kitten JU-JU was pretty shaken up, as this was her first earthquake ever. It lasted a good 20 seconds. I felt an initial jolt and then like a rolling motion. It felt like I was on a boat. I stayed pretty calm, which surprised me because I am deathly afraid of earthquakes and I was all alone. My mom was at church and my daughter was at her dad's house. This was my daughter Natalie's first earthquake as well and I still haven't been able to get a hold of her, which is very troubling to me. Everything in my house is fine. Nothing fell off the shelves or broke in any way. The only thing that happened was the shaking of the earthquake opened up two of the cupboards in the kitchen. All in all it was a pretty exciting morning. After all this is California, it should be the norm for us but I still can't get use to earthquakes, lol.

If life were PERFECT.....

This would be my neighborhood, my flat would be on this street and I would own a red mini cooper. If only life were perfect.

I have an obsession...that obsession is LONDON and all things BRITISH!!!!

=)

I miss him...........

I miss my husband so much. It's the little things that remind me so much of him. This weekend I installed a new door handle for my mom's door and my husband was the one to do all of the handy work around the house so when I was installing the door handle I started to cry really hard. I hadn't cried that hard in a long time. I miss him so much. I miss snuggling with him and Natalie in our bed watching movies. WOW, I really miss him. To everyone reading this cherish your spouse, tell him/her you love them everyday, be kind to one another and always have patience and have compassion for one another...because you never know what will happen and never ever go to bed angry. God bless =)

Rockabilly, horror tonk at it's FINEST....

My daughter Natalie with the band right after they played. She is their biggest fan, lol!!!!


So I just got back from Upland, Ca about two hours ago and all I have to say is that my brother's band the Drop Dead Beats did one of their best shows I have been to this year. Tonight's musical theme for this particular bar, where the show was held, was of course Rockabilly night, which is defined by Wikipedia as:

A portmanteau of rock, from rock and roll, and hillbilly, the latter a reference to the country music (often called hillbilly music in the 1940s and 1950s) that contributed strongly to the style's development. Other important influences on rockabilly include western swing, blues music, boogie woogie, and jump blues. Although there are notable exceptions, its origins lie primarily in the southern United States.
The influence and popularity of the style waned in the 1960s, but during the late 1970s and early 1980s, rockabilly enjoyed a major revival of popularity that has endured to the present, often within a rockabilly subculture

And I have to say that out all the bands that played tonight my brother's band was by far the best and I am not just saying that because my brother is the drummer. They absolutely did a fabulous set. Even despite the fact that they were suppose to go on third of the night at 10:00pm and didn't get to go on until last at 12:00am. I guess it is true about the saying, "they saved the best for last", because let me tell you they brought down the house. This was my brother's first show back in about a month since he has been in and out of the hospital and he played his little heart out tonight. They all played their hearts out. Some of the bands tonight where pretty crappy and my mom, my daughter and my sis-in-law had to go outside during one bands set because they were just that, really bad, and way to loud. OMG, they were awful. All in all it was a very good night, even if I got beer spilled on me like 4 times by the same guy who couldn't seem to hold his cup in his hand. Oh well, he did apologize in a very drunken manner. =)

Brideshead Revisited......Yes Please!!!!!

I totally want to go see this movie!!!!!

My new Monday night Secret.....

I have fallen head over heels in love with a new show on Showtime called "The Secret Diary of a Call Girl". It is a British television show starring Billie Piper as Belle, a high-class London-based call girl. The eponymous call girl is based on the blogs of Belle de Jour. I have become a huge fan of this show. Billie Piper is so lovely. I love the fact that it takes place in London and stars an all British cast. It is absolutely divine. It airs every Monday night at 10:30 pm right after Weeds on Showtime. Check it out, it's the best kept secret on Monday nights, lol =)

Do signs that are right in front of you mean anything.....

So I was driving home the other day on the south 605 freeway and all of a sudden this truck got over right in front of me and on the back of his truck it read "ENGLAND" in red letters. I immediately took out my phone and captured, what I think is a sign from GOD that says, "you need to pack up and move to", "ENGLAND". I am obsessed with England and all things British. I have always wanted to pack up all my things and move to a small English village or London. This obsession began when I was only 8 years old and had a best friend named Angela Bulpin who was from Manchester, England. I marveled at her accent and how her family did things so differently than us Americans. Her father's company transfered him to their American branch so they moved to America right down the street from me and we stayed friends till I was almost 13 when they moved back to England. I remember during summer break from school I would go to her house to play and everyday at around noon her mother would call us in for tea time. We would have tea in these cute little tea cups and had an array of beautiful little pastries. I am assuming some were crumpets. I was so fascinated with this English tradition. I would ask to hear all about their time in England when they lived there and wanted to know the history. My friend Angela had two siblings an older sister named Helen and a younger brother named Julian. I miss them dearly and have always wanted to reconnect with them. I wonder if signs that are right in front of you, really mean anything???? Or was it just a truck from a company called "England Trucking Company", hahahahaha, lol.

Weekend of GREAT movies....

This weekend was filled with lot's of great movies, I was basically in bed all weekend due to my fibromyalgia acting up, one movie in particular that I saw again was "The Great Gatsby" starring Robert Redford and the fabulous Mia Farrow. I absolutely love this movie and think they should do a remake of it. I have always thought that they should shoot this movie again and I have always thought of the actors and actresses who could play each character. The 2008 cast of "The Great Gatsby" could be:

The main Characters:

Jay Gatsby- Brad Pitt

Daisy Buchanan- Michelle Williams or Rachel McAdams

Tom Buchanan- Jake Gyllenhaal

Nick Carraway- James Marsden

George Wilson- Ryan Gosling

Myrtle Wilson- Emily Deschanel

Jordan Baker- Natalie Portman

I wish I could email Martin Scorsese or Frances Ford Coppola or even Sophia Coppola to give them the idea of re-making this timeless classic. I just love this movie so much. I first fell in love with he book in High school. It was required reading in my 10th grade English class. Would you see this movie if they re-made it with he above actors and actresses????

Control.....

Yes, I finally saw the movie "Control", the story of Ian Curtis the enigmatic lead singer of the influential British band Joy Division. It was an amazing movie. I didn't get to see the movie in the theater and read that it came out on DVD in June so I was looking to watch a good movie on ON Demand yesterday, cause I have been in bed all weekend, and as I was searching through all the movies I saw that Control was on the list. This absolutely made my day. I really loved this movie and I loved that it was shot in black and white. I love Samantha Morton, who played Ian Curtis' wife Deborah. New comer Sam Riley did an amazing job as Ian Curtis. Not only does he resemble Ian in the movie but his mannerisms where very close to Ian's. What a sad story it was. I cried at the end. My husband suffered from epilepsy so I know first hand how poor Ian felt most of the time. My husband went through alot of hard and trying days with bouts of depression as well. My husband's seizures did alot of damage to his memory and speech at times. But anyways getting back to the movie, I thought Ian Curtis was a lovely man. He was an amazing song writer, singer and performer. He had an odd stage presence but it was also very magical. Though I was way to young to enjoy Joy Division when they first started out I do enjoy their music now and I loved New Order when I was in High School. I highly recommend that if you have On Demand that you order this movie and watch it. I know most of my friends have already seen it cause they are all huge Ian Curtis and Joy Division fans but those of you reading this who don't know me go watch this movie. You will be glad that you did. R.I.P Ian Curtis. Forever in our Hearts!!!!

DCA and the Tower of Terror.....

Yesterday my family and I went to Disney's California Adventure and I went on The Tower of Terror for the first and probably last time ever. The ride is just plain scary. For those of you who have never been on this ride, it is a ride that drops you like 13 stories straight down as you sit in a theater like setting. It's actually meant to be like an elevator. I do have to admit that it wasn't as scary as Supreme Scream at Knott's Berry Farm. I was freaking forced to go on that ride and I was scared out of my mind. But on this particular ride I was pretty much scared from the moment I stepped foot in line. They take your picture as they are dropping you and above is the result of our lovely elevator car of people. As you can see my 9 year old daughter, seated to my right, reader your left, treated the situation as if it was a modeling shoot. I on the other hand am holding on for dear life and closing my eyes so tight my face actually hurt when I got off the ride, lol. My brother seated three seats down from me on my right, reader your left is clowning around his head really doesn't hurt and my sis-in-law Alyssa seated right next to my brother looks so cute. All the other people looked pretty funny and cute at the same time. All in all it is an experience I do not want to repeat anytime soon. I am so afraid of heights. But I conquered this fear and went on it anyways. I did have a good time at DCA. My daughter had a blast too. We all had a great time. If you are planning on going to DCA anytime soon, I highly recommend that you eat at Boudins Bakery and Cafe in the San Francisco themed part of the park. They have the best soups, vegetarian chili and salads in the world and they put them in a fresh baked Boudins Sourdough bread bowl and OMG, they are so delicious. They also have an array of sandwiches from roast beef to turkey and not to mention some very tasty desserts like the chocolate covered cream puff I got, yummy =)

Velvet Goldmine.......

I have been wanting to see this movie for so long now and it is finally going to be on cable this morning at 1:10am. I have looked and looked for this movie at almost every music/video store possible and they never have it. I know I could of bought it from Amazon but I don't have a credit card and I knew one day it would come on cable and that day is today. I am so freaking excited. It stars two of my favorite actors: Ewan Mcgregor and of course the love of my life Jonathan Rhys Meyers. He is so beautiful in this movie. After I offically watch this movie I can finally add it to my favorite movies list on my myspace page. Off to make some popcorn and get an ice cold Coke Zero.....=)

Cereal Bars love it or not....

Jade Puget from Afi/Blaqk Audio blogged about this new place on his blog spot: http://shyboyswin.blogspot.com/ that opened up in Westwood, CA and I am seriously thinking about going there one day with my daughter, who loves cereal and trying it out. Here is their menu:

I want to try golden grahams cereal, with marshmallows, graham cracker pieces and chocolate chips with non-fat milk, I think that would taste super yummy or maybe captain crunch cereal, peanut butter chips, chocolate chips, malt balls and non-fat milk. That sounds really good right now!!!! Has anyone been there yet? Let me know of your experience. Here is the official web site to see the menu more clearly: http://www.jujucerealbar.com/.

Mr. Warren Beatty

WOW!!!! Warren Beatty was a handsome young man when he started in the acting business. What a HOTTY!!!! I am watching AFI's (that's American Film Institute) Achievement Awards show honoring Warren Beatty on the USA channel right now and they are showing all the movies he has ever made and wow he was really good looking. I got way to excited when I was browsing the channel guide about an hour ago and saw those three little letters AFI, hahahahaha, lol. I thought OMFG, AFI is going to be on TV, but no it was the other AFI honoring Mr. Warren "hot stuff" Beatty, lol. Have any of you AFI (the band) fans ever had that experience of seeing a show coming on that said AFI but then realizing it was the American Film Institute or am I the only dork on the face of the earth, lol.

My brother is home, sweet home...

He came home yesterday at around 3:00pm after being in the hospital for 8 days. He is doing so much better than the first day he went in. I love my brother so much. To those of you who sent comments and messages of support and well wishes, I thank you so much. It meant a lot to me and I appreciate it. Even though we are 9 years apart I feel a strong connection with him. My little brother was 16 years old when my daughter, his favorite niece, Natalie was born and he was right there in the deliver room with me and my husband David at the time, filming the joyous event. I had a C-Section so he was able to experience this at a young age. This has been a very emotional and stressful week. I really do not know what I would of done if I lost my little brother =( I am just so glad he is home and feeling a little better. He is already looking to the future in a positive and hopeful way. I am really proud of him!!!!

I took a little video of him yesterday evening when my mom and I went over to cook him his favorite meal. Just ignore my sis-in-law yelling out Gay-F-I, hahahahaha, lol. She knows she loves them. She truly enjoyed their "I heard a Voice" concert at the Long Beach arena when we went on September 15, 2006. She couldn't stop saying how good they were after the show. I love you Alyssa but if you call them Gay-F-I one more time I'm gonna.......only joking sis, I love you =)

My 4th Of July

The picture above was taken by me the morning of the 4Th. Every year a real estate company gives out these little flags to everyone in my neighborhood and this is what our street looked like. I thought it looked awesome so I took a picture or it =)

As the Holiday weekend comes to a close I thought I would blog about how my 4Th of July was. I actually had a pretty nice time. The day started with my mom and I cleaning up the back yard a bit as there were a few things that needed hauling out, like two old BBQ's from like the early 80's and some old toys my brothers use to play with as kids. Why we save this kind of junk is a big mystery to me, lol. I then set up and cleaned out my daughters big pool. My mom bought it for her a couple of years ago. It's one of those big round 12 X 30in pools with a filter pump and is approximately 3 feet deep. It's a pretty good size. I bought one of those inflatable floating lounge chairs and I can lay on it and float around all over. It's quite nice. So I cleaned it out with bleach and set it up in the back yard for my friend Lorraine's girls to swim in, they were coming over later for the BBQ. I filled it up and then went to Walmart to get the chemicals it needs to keep it nice and clean. My friend came over with her 4 girls and my mom and I barbecued hamburgers and hot dogs. My mom made her famous potato salad, and man was it delicious. We also had baked beans and corn on the cob. For dessert we had strawberry shortcake. The girls went swimming and had a blast. It was so nice to visit with my friend Lorraine. My sweetheart Natalie was at her dad's, so she wasn't there to enjoy the BBQ or go swimming =( she is over there for the remainder of the summer. So after we finished our dessert and the girls went swimming at around 5:00pm my mom and I went to visit my brother in the hospital. He is still at UC Irvine in Orange, CA. We all had a great visit. He is doing much better and is getting to come home tomorrow afternoon. Thank God. After our visit ended at 8:00PM, my mom and I went over to my brother and sis-in-laws house to wait for the Disneyland fireworks show to begin. My brother lives near Disneyland and from his roof top of the parking structure of his condo you can actually see the top of the Matterhorn Mountain. My brother lives down the street from the Block at Orange on Chapman. At around 8:45pm my mom and I trekked it up to the roof top and actually caught the fireworks show from Anaheim Stadium. The stadium is like right near my brother's condo too. It was pretty cool and at about 9:20pm the Disneyland fireworks show started. There were a lot of people on the roof top with us so it was a very festive mood. I really enjoyed myself. I love fireworks. There is just something about the big, spectacular, explosions of color and sparks that makes me HAPPY. At one point I looked straight up into the sky and said to my husband "Hope you are enjoying the fireworks from your view in Heaven honey". I got emotional but all in all it was a very beautiful fireworks show. I know my hubby was watching it right along with my mom and I. After the fireworks we went home and that is how I spent my 4Th of July 2008. I am so glad I decided not to stay in bed for the 4TH. Hope you all had an awesome day.

"HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY" I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE MY FREEDOM =)

Just wanted to wish everyone in blogger land a very safe and Happy 4th Of July!!!! I am very proud to be an American. I am very thankful to have my freedom. I am excited to see fireworks. I am also very sad at the same time because 4th of July was my husband's and my favorite holiday to spend together. He loved the 4th of July. This will be my second year without my hubby. Last year I spent the 4th in my room in bed, sad as hell. I watched fireworks on one of those fourth of July special shows on TV live from New York I think. This year I am actually going to have a BBQ with family and friends, go visit my lil brother in the hospital, and then watch some fireworks at the neighbor across the streets house. He puts on a fabulous fireworks show every year. One year back when I was in my early 20's he actually taped an M80, highly illegal firecracker, or something like that to a full spray paint can and blew that sucker up. There was a loud explosion that could of permanently made us all death and a fire ball that shot from here to eternity. It was quite a spectacular site to see. I wonder what he has in store for this year. I am glad to be getting out but I am also sad that I am not going to be spending it with my husband =( I miss him like crazy.

God bless you all and again Happy 4th Of July. Have a safe and fun day!!!!!!!!!

Living with CHRONIC PAIN & INSOMNIA, what a JOY

Living with Chronic Pain & Insomnia is not so fun. For the past month I have had maybe 2-3 hours of sleep per night if I am lucky. You Tube, Google, Myspace and Blogspot have become my new best friends. I visit them every morning at around 2-4am, lol. I just can't seem to sleep anymore. Before I was sleeping all the time, like 12-14 hours per night and for some reason it has drastically changed. Living with Fibromyalgia and Nueropathy pain has taken it's toll on me. I went to Disneyland on Sunday and just walking from the parking structure to the tram, from the tram to the entrance to California Adventure, from the entrance to Boudins Sourdough bakery cafe (to get the best broccoli cheese soup in a fresh sourdough bowl in the world) was a nightmare. I hurt all over, but I was not going to complain. I toughed it out but when I woke up on Monday morning, "OMFG, was I stiff and sore and in a whole lotta pain"!!!!

Here are my current meds I take to treat my chronic pain:

Neurontin 300mg 1 tab 3 times a day

Baclofen 10mg 1 tab 3 times a day

Morphine Sulfate 15mg 1-2 tabs three times a day

Percocet 10mg 2 tabs as needed for breakthrough pain

Paxil 40mg 1 tab every morning

This combination of medications pretty much treats my pain but not 100%. I can only imagine what I would feel like if I didn't take any medication at all. Welcome to my life, "Living with Chronic Pain" Hey, that would make an excellent title for a book I could write. Maybe one day.

Well I am off to try and rest and take a much needed and deserved nap. I need and crave SLEEP!!!!

"OH BROTHER WHERE, ART THOU"!!

My little brother is in the hospital right now. Please pray for him and our family as we go through this difficult and sad time right now. I love my brother with all of my heart and soul. We are very close and yet I feel so distant from him right now. I love you Anthony Munster, lol =)